I'm Sure We'll Laugh About This Later: An Expository Essay
by Claire Greising
Although Karl Marx once said that religion is the opium of the people, I tend to disagree. There’s something else lurking out there-- an element that is worshiped by all who come across it. This thing is all-consuming, attention-grabbing, and addictive. It causes people to stare at screens alone in the dark for hours, read books far past their allotted bedtime, and clutch their sides in passion. That thing is comedy. Humor and its byproducts have been entertaining humans since communication was invented. The ability to laugh at ourselves and others is as essential to our culture’s well being as oxygen or even Karl Marx’s religion. Comedy, in its many different forms, has served over the centuries as a way to observe and analyze social trends and problems. Works such as A Modest Proposal and One More Thing exemplify important humor elements such as exaggeration and irony to illuminate and comment on issues present during the time of their publication.
Jonathan Swift’s A Modest Proposal is no stranger to the average American high school student. Any kid enrolled in an AP English class will certainly be able to pinpoint it as “that one piece about people selling babies or something”. The essay puts forth one of the major problems present within 18th century England and then makes a “modest” proposal-- impoverished citizens should sell their children. Throughout the essay, Swift goes on to explain, in explicit detail, how this could be done. He even goes as far as to break down the particulars of how to prepare the child for market, writing, “Those who are more thrifty (as I must confess the times require) may flay the carcass; the skin of which artificially dressed will make admirable gloves for ladies, and summer boots for fine gentlemen.” (Swift).
To the untrained eye, this piece could come off as offensive and grotesque. However, Swift is actually utilizing several genius comedic strategies in order to comment on the state of his country. Through fictionalizes a hyperbolic reaction to the economic state of the country, Swift is actually pointing out the absurdity of the state of England during the time he lived there. The situation there was so dire that impoverished people selling their children was a (sort of) viable option. Swift incorporates deadpan satire, not letting up his clearly sarcastic claims at any point to reveal his bluff. This essay is funny, but ultimately leads to more serious topics concerning the state of those in England.
Almost three hundred years later, the world is not suffering the same kinds of famines and tribulations as those seen during Swift’s time. However, the same comedic techniques are still essential to understanding the world around us. BJ Novak’s collection of short stories entitled One More Thing could serve as the 21st century equivalent to Swift’s A Modest Proposal. Instead of tackling starving children, Novak approaches more contemporary issues like why he never wants to walk on the moon, what life would be like if it was a roller coaster, how to find love in a world overrun by technology, and the way in which the media simultaneously trivializes and sensationalizes the news.
In the short story “One of These Days, We Really Have To Do Something About Willie”, Novak perfectly entwines comedic and serious subject matter. The story follows the lives of four best friends who met in college. The four buds are joined together by one common characteristic-- they enjoy drinking alcohol. However, as college ends, most of the group casts away their alcoholic ways-- except for Willie. The friends decide to band together and stage an intervention for Willie. They find a way to get the entire group to Las Vegas. Through a series of unfortunate (but hilarious) events, the intervention goes completely awry. Willie’s flight gets delayed, so the friends waiting for him engage in a ton of illicit activities. When Willie finally arrives, the group is hungover and their hotel room is covered with “two bottles of club soda from the minibar… spilled all over the floor on top of the ber with overdiligent evenness” (Novak, 189). By the end of the story, Novak writes that they didn’t even end up following through with the intervention, Willie stopped his unhealthy drinking habits on his own, and it was one of the best weekends the group had had since college. He ends the story by writing, “Dave committed suicide six months later” (194).
Novak sets up the entire piece as though Willie will be put into rehab, face huge consequences because of his actions, or maybe even reach his own demise. Instead a periphery character, one of the other friends hardly expounded upon at all, dies. When combined with the lightheartedness and easy humor earlier in the story, this twisted irony cuts a sharp edge.
Novak focuses on drug addiction, what it’s like to be part of a friend group that is slowly growing apart, and suicide. He targets problems that affect millennials and puts them in a humorous light. By doing so, he is able to get his audience to think long and hard about the world around them without even noticing that they are doing it.
Human beings don’t want to be serious. We avoid having the “sex talk” with our parents. We slink away from political discussions when they get too heated. We procrastinate long, three-page expository essays on serious topics until the last minute. Comedy is able to cut big problems into bite-sized pieces. By pointing out hypocrisies, fallacies, and problems in everyday life through humorous devices such as hyperbole and irony, humor holds a mirror up to society in a nonjudgmental, nonthreatening way.
At the end of the day, a knock knock joke isn’t going to save anyone’s life. A really good pun can’t cure cancer. A funny improv group isn’t going to be able to win the war on drugs. A Modest Proposal didn’t end the famine in England. One More Thing didn’t stop the fact that people commit suicide. Alone, comedy can do little more than induce giggles. However, humor can be a great lead-in to more serious conversations. By making grave issues a little easier to swallow, comedy leads to a better, more self-aware world.
Save Money, Love Better: A Missed Connection Ad
by Claire Greising
Discussion Questions:
- Have you ever actually set foot in a Walmart? Discuss.
- Is it socially acceptable to refer to white tank tops as wife beaters? Why or why not?
- Why did Craigslist keep blocking me from actually posting this post?
Tater Tot Thot: A Short Film
by Claire Greising
Open on Larry. He is shopping. He is unhappy. Life is hard: his job sucks, he hasn’t had sex in three years two months five days and twenty-five minutes, and all of his friends are assholes. He lives alone in a studio apartment he can’t really afford where he gets stoned a lot and looks at animated porn online. He’s sluggishly compiling the groceries he needs for the week-- really sad microwave dinners, a lot of beer, etc. Finally, he gets to the produce aisle. He gets some fruits, a packet of that weird salad-in-a-bag thing, and then he wheels by the potatoes.
His eyes light up.
Shot of a potato sitting on a pile of potatoes.
He looks at the potato. He squints his eyes. Then, he unfurrows his brow and he smiles. This is the first facial expression Larry has made since the beginning of the film. He smile is pretty nice. He’s not classically good-looking, but when he smiles it’s pretty nice.
He wheels by the potatoes again, as if trying to impress the potato. Shot of him winking. Shot of potato sitting on a pile of potatoes.
He wheels by again, shooting his best bedroom eyes. Shot of his eyes. Shot of a potato sitting on a pile of potatoes.
He wheels by again, this time stopping as if called. He points to himself like “Wait, me?” Shot of him acting like he’s flirting. Shot of potato sitting on a pile of potatoes.
Finally, he picks up the potato tenderly. He inspects her. Then, he places her in the baby-seat part of the shopping cart, on a throne of toilet paper. He proceeds to the check out line.
CHECK OUT LADY: Chewing gum. Will this be all for you, sir?
LARRY: Not taking his eyes off of the potato moving down the conveyor belt. Uh-- y- yes.
CHECK OUT LADY: Sixty-eight seventy-four will be your total. Would you like any help outside today?
LARRY: No-- no, thank you. The potato has hit the side of the conveyor belt. Hey! Watch her!
CHECK OUT LADY: Excuse me?
LARRY: The potato. Be respectful.
CHECK OUT LADY looks at him like “boy what?” She scans the potato. He grabs it from her.
LARRY: I’ll just take this with me. No need to bag her.
CHECK OUT LADY: Alright, sir. Would you like paper or plastic?
Scene exits out with sound of car door slamming. LARRY slides into the driver’s seat of his car. The potato is already buckled into the passenger seat. He smiles at the potato, then begins driving.
LARRY: I know this is a bit forward, seeing as we just met and everything, but I’m going to take you by my place.
The rest of this scene is just a montage.
Shot of LARRY laughing in car with the potato.
Shot of LARRY pointing out the landmarks of his town with the potato in the passenger seat.
Shot of LARRY taking the potato home and giving it a tour of his apartment.
Shot of LARRY having a candlelit dinner with the potato.
Shot of LARRY taking the potato dancing.
Shot of LARRY painting a picture of the potato lying, a la The Titanic.
Shot of LARRY taking the potato to a movie.
Shot of LARRY taking the potato to the beach. He’s swimming in the water and the potato is sitting on a beach towel wearing a bikini. Shot of LARRY diving into the water, then giving the potato a thumbs up. Shot of potato sitting on the towel.
Shot of LARRY and the potato sitting in his living room watching Netflix. Shot of LARRY looking at the potato with affection. Shot of the potato being a potato.
Shot of LARRY having a fight with the potato. He gets mad and storms out of his apartment, and then comes back and hugs the potato. He feels bad.
Shot of LARRY and the potato riding bikes together.
Shot of LARRY standing outside of his parent’s house. He is holding the potato, dressed in its Sunday best.
LARRY: Don’t be nervous. They’re going to love you. LARRY approaches the door. He takes a deep breath and then rings the doorbell.
CHERYL: Larry! Honey! Come in! She kisses him on the cheek and welcomes him into the house.
Shot of LARRY, his mother CHERYL, his sister CAROLINE, her husband DEREK, and the potato sitting in the living room. There is tea. No one is talking. They are all very aware of their hands. Shot of the clock ticking. Shot of childhood pictures of LARRY. Shot of a cat sleeping in the corner. Return to shot of family sitting.
CHERYL: Starts to speak, is immediately interrupted.
LARRY: Sorry she isn’t talking much today. She’s shy.
CHERYL: Emotional. I just-- Getting more emotional. Don’t understand.
CAROLINE: Mom.
LARRY: Unmoved by his mother’s emotions. Don’t understand what?
CHERYL: Crying into an embroidered handkerchief. Is it something I did? I knew I shouldn’t have gotten you vaccinated. Or maybe I breastfed you for too long? But the doctor said 10 years wasn’t that strange. You were just always so... different, but I never thought-- She is on a rampage. This is all my fault.
CAROLINE: Mom. Go take a Xanax. CHERYL exits. It is quiet for a moment. Another shot of the ticking clock. Return to CAROLINE and DEREK. I don’t understand why you pull shit like this, Larry.
LARRY: Please don’t swear in front of her.
DEREK: Bro, I knew you were fucked up, but I never knew you were THIS fucked up, you know? Like Caroline’s told me some stories, but shit man-- this is fucking insane. Like, do you have sex with it? Does the smell of vegetable oil turn you on? I got so many questions, man. I wrote a few down on my phone before I dropped it in the toilet.
LARRY: I said, please watch your language.
CAROLINE: I just don’t get it. Haven’t you gotten enough attention over the years? Doesn’t she have enough on her plate without… this? I actually… have no words. I cannot believe you.
DEREK: So, what’s your-- like-- sexual orientation? Fry-sexual? He laughs at his own joke, then prods Caroline. Get it, babe? Like bi-sexual, but fry? Because potatoes?
CHERYL: Returns with a bowl of potato chips, a small thing of dip, and a pitcher of lemonade. She is having trouble maneuvering all of them. Caroline, could you give me a hand pl-- She drops them. The bowl with the potato chips break. LARRY did not know they were potato chips before they broke. Shot of the potato chips on the ground. Shot of LARRY, mouth agape. Shot of potato chips on the ground. Shot of LARRY, mouth agape. Shot of potato chips on the ground. Shot of LARRY, mouth agape. Shot of potato chips on the ground. Shot of potato sitting on the sofa. Umph. I knew I should’ve taken two trips. Caroline, if you could grab the broo--
LARRY: Stands abruptly. I think it’d be best if we just left. He grabs the potato. I don’t know why you are all so intolerant. He leaves in a hurry.
CHERYL, CAROLINE, and DEREK remain frozen in their places: CHERYL standing over the broken bowl, CAROLINE barely risen to help her mother, and DEREK being a douchebag. Shot of the clock ticking. Shot of the cat. Shot of the people again.
DEREK: Well, he sure had a chip on his shoulder. Prodding CAROLINE. Get it, babe? Chip? Cause potatoes? Like potato chips?
Shot abruptly transitions to LARRY clipping on a tie. He looks really nice. He’s in his bathroom, combing his hair and putting on cologne. His bathroom is small. It is weird. He has a chia pet of Barack Obama sitting on the window sill and a framed picture of the potato on the wall opposite of his toilet. While combing his hair, he practices in the mirror.
LARRY: Well, we’ve known each other for a while and I know, without a doubt, that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. He pauses. Investigates himself. No. That’s too cliche. He grabs some floss and does the next bit with his hands in his own mouth. I never believed in love at first sight until I met you. Oh my god, no. That’s terrible. He starts brushing his teeth, really gross-like, and does the next part with a foaming mouth. Will you make me the happiest man in the world and be my wife? He spits out his tooth-paste mouth. Finally, he just talks to himself normally. Will you marry me? He looks serious, then smiles nervously. He pulls his hands through his hair one last time, then leaves. The close of the bathroom door marks the transition into the scene at the restaurant. Shot of LARRY and the potato sitting at a really, really nice table. Shot of the waiter offering a test taste of the wine to LARRY, him swirling it in his mouth and approving it, and then the waiter pouring wine into both of their glasses. Shot of them eating, LARRY laughing at the potato-- it’s a normal date.
LARRY: Well, you’re probably wondering why I asked you on such a fancy date tonight. No, it’s not out anniversary! He laughs too hard. That’s not for nineteen days. I actually, I-- He tries to get up the courage. Can’t. I have to go to the bathroom. He leaves the table.
Shot of him in the bathroom mirror. It’s very similar to the bathroom scene before. Switching between shots of the potato in the restaurant getting closer and closer to the potato and shots of LARRY in the bathroom trying to pump himself up. There should be a juxtaposition between the noise of the restaurant and the tranquility of the bathroom. Finally, as the shot is as close the potato as possible, LARRY gathers enough courage to return to the table. He gets there. The potato’s chair is empty.
LARRY: Oh my-- oh my god. He looks around. He is at a loss. What should he do? Help. Help!
WAITER: Approaches. What’s wrong?
LARRY: My-- my date. My date is gone.
WAITER: Well, did she go to the bathroom or something?
LARRY: No, she couldn’t have. I was in the bathroom. She wouldn’t just leave like that. Oh my god.
LARRY: No, she couldn’t have. I was in the bathroom. She wouldn’t just leave like that. Oh my god.
WAITER: Hey, buddy. Calm down. What did she look like?
LARRY: Thinking. Trying to be concise. Well. Brown.
WAITER: Thinks he is going to say more. When he realizes that’s it, he is incredulous. That’s it? Just… brown?
LARRY: Yeah. Brown.
WAITER: Putting two and two together. Oh. Shit. Was your date… This is going to sound weird, but was your date a potato?
LARRY: Yes!
WAITER: Oh. Dude. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. I thought it somehow rolled out from the kitchen. Um.. I sort of gave the potato… to the chef?
LARRY: Okay! Well, where is she? Can we get her back?
WAITER: Oh! Totally! I’ll be right back. Sit tight. Wine’s on me. LARRY waits. Shot of watch ticking on his wrist. Shot of candles burning. Shot of empty seat where the potato used to be.
Then, the WAITER returns with a silver platter. Well… we found your potato.
LARRY: Let me see her!
WAITER: Alright, but. Look, I’m just really sorry, dude. He removes the top. Inside is a plate of french fries.
DRAMATIC ASS MUSIC. Something old and classical with the choir SCREAMING at you. Like Oh Fortuna, but even more. LARRY is devastated. He gets on his knees and starts screaming at god. He pulls bread from the bread baskets of tables around him and throws the bread at waiters. He cries into a glass, then drinks his own tears. He is so sad. Suddenly, the music cuts off abruptly.
WAITER: Dude, you can just go to the store and buy a new potato. Chill.
LARRY: Looks like a lunatic. Then, smiles in a way that is reminiscent of the beginning, but creepier. You’re right. He maintains this smile until the end. He walks out of the restaurant, smiling. He walks through a crowd of people, smiling. He climbs into his car, smiling. He drives away, smiling. He pays a toll at a toll booth, smiling. He drives some more, still smiling. He pulls into the parking lot of the grocery store from the beginning of the piece. Shot of the store. Shot of him smiling. Shot of the store again. Sound of gunshot. Shot of him sitting dead in his car from his own gunshot, blood gushing from his head with a stupid, stupid smile on his face.
Fin
Discussion questions:
- Have you ever been sexually attracted to a starchy plant? Why or why not?
- Is the waiter’s vernacular too similar to Derek’s? Explain.
- Aren’t potato products just, like, the best?
Love Song: A Song
by Claire Greising
I've never been one to believe in
Love at first sight
But when I first saw you
My heart put up a fight
You're tall and cute I like your nose
I want to be your main ho
I want to date you
Let's see how this thing goes
My name is Claire
I am 5'7"
I don't often wear underwear
I hope you think that's hot 'cause
It's not a lie
My diet mainly consists of
Lots of coffee and curly fries
Hey John
Wanna take a walk on the lakeside?
That's a joke.
But forreal, wanna get high sometime?
Hey John
You and me could be so easy.
I just want to hold your hand
JK, human contact makes me queasy
Hey John
Let's get married
We can have 27 kids and name them all after Harry (Thornton)
Hey John
I just want to suck your face
I wish we were the last two on Earth
So we could restart the human race
We'd have a bunch of children
And they'd have kids too
We'd live in incestuous harmony-- just me and you
Hey John
That creepy stuff was just a joke
I saw you once and think you're cute
And wanted you to know
Let's go on a date
Or maybe I'll be your sex slave
Either way, it's your call man.
Bye John
I hope to hear from you soon
My number is 8474094492
Bye John
Discussion questions:
1) Is this school appropriate? Why or why not?
2) Is music a good way to communicate love? Discuss.
3) What is love? Baby don't hurt me. Don't hurt me. No more.
Senioritis: A Sketch
by Claire Greising
The scene opens on a simple soundstage of an infomercial. CAROL and BENNY have been hired by LARSON to advertise his new product, Senioractin, which cures senioritis. Their tone and behavior is extremely similar to that of any other infomercial you may have seen on TV. They are extremely cheesy.
LARSON: Do you neglect to finish classwork?
CAROL: Do you spend more time watching Netflix than plagiarizing your midterm papers?
BENNY: Do you regularly skip class to lie in the planetarium and listen to Beyonce songs on repeat?
LARSON: If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may have Senioritis.
CAROL: Senioritis is a mutation in the hypothalamus that can inhibit productivity.
BENNY: In laymen’s terms, it makes you slow, stupid, and lazy.
LARSON: Although there used to be no cure for this widespread illness, advances in scientific research have finally able to help-- with Senioractin.
CAROL: Senioractin is a handy dandy little pill made by Buddhist monks living in Cleveland, OH.
BENNY: The pill is made with ancient Chinese medicines, windex, and a slight laxative (so keep your good pants at home).
LARSON: Our drug is tasty, cheap, and 67% effective.
CAROL: But you don’t have to believe us. Listen to these testimonials from satisfied customers. First we have Roger. Before taking Senioractin, he looked like this. (Holds up picture of ROGER.) After taking Senioractin, he now looks like this. (Holds up a picture of Shia LeBouf with the “I’m Not Famous” paperbag on his head.) Listen to his heartbreaking story.
ROGER: Before Senioractin, I was a mess. I would frequently take three or free period lunch breaks to sit at home in my underwear and max on the Pita Inn vegetarian platter while watching reruns of How I Met Your Mother. However, my aunt’s friend’s dog’s vet’s ex-husband's masseuse's cello teacher suggested Senioractin. After ingesting this horrid pill (it tastes like Vegemite and papaya had a horrible, awful love affair that yielded this devil child of a medicine), I vowed to be more productive so I would never have to take that pill again. So yeah. I guess Senioractin sort of helped me.
BENNY: And listen to this rave review taken from our only Amazon customer review.
TROLL: This product is gey trololololololololololol.
LARSON: So what are you waiting for? Take back control of your senior year.
CAROL: Although you’ve probably gotten into college already and feel there is little reason to try in your classes, don’t give in.
BENNY: Don’t be blinded by your bright future. Instead, focus on the mundane and often futile tasks that make up high school.
LARSON: Usually, we would sell one bottle for $4,566.
CAROL: However, for the next hour only, we will give you 18 bottles for only $4.99 because this sales tactic totally works.
BENNY: Act quickly, though. This stuff sells out fast.
CAROL: And, if you call today, we’ll also throw in a free Snuggie, strawberry car freshener, and Webkinz.
LARRY: He breaks character from the calm, composed, and monotone person from before. Suddenly, he is very frantic. He is on his hands and knees begging the audience. Please actually call. My mom said that if this business venture fails I have to move back into her house and live in the basement. I hate her basement. And her friends always hit on me while watching Wheel of Fortune together and it makes me very uncomfortable.
VOICEOVER: Call 1-800-839-1029 today to get your bottle of Senior Actin. Side effects may include coughing, sweating, sneezing, your kidneys running off to Vegas and eloping without inviting you to the wedding, an increased interest in joining the Scientologist Church, excessive obsession with reading Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax, making bad puns and then laughing obnoxiously at them alone, crying in the shower, forgetting the words to the Pledge of Allegiance, sudden fluency in the Portuguese language, and seeing religious figures in your grilled cheese sandwiches. While taking Senioractin, you should not operate heavy machinery and/or a tamagatchi, read War and Peace, sign up for a Pandora account, or go to Iceland. If you experience dizziness, trouble swallowing, the formation of an extra head, a third voice telling you to follow the light, an extreme aversion to water parks, or death while taking Senioractin, stop taking the pill and consult your doctor right away. If you become best friends with Meryl Streep while on Senioractin, please contact us because we are huge fans.
-Scene-
Discussion questions:
- Have you ever suffered from Senioritis? Discuss.
- Do you think Senioritis is rooted in the excessive amount of work assigned to students that causes education to become less of a priviledge and more of a job therefore causing students to be unenthusiastic about the education system (something that is otherwise a very exciting thing)? Why or why not?
- Do you think Meryl Streep watches her own movies?
Dear Reader: A Letter
by Claire Greising
Dear Reader,
I think I did this entire project backwards.
First and foremost, I quite clearly chose the wrong book. As I watch my peers present their projects in class, I can’t help but realize that I did not choose a piece of literature with a major argument. I didn’t read an expository book filled with complicated terms, claims, and assertions. When Ms. Romano said we could read anything we want, I actually read something I wanted to read-- a collection of short stories. I love BJ Novak, and I loved One More Thing, but it was not suited for this project. My first mistake was in choosing the incorrect book.
The next pitfall occurred during my writing process. Instead of focusing on my major argument in the expository essay, I dove headfirst into the genres. After eight months of only expository essays, I did not want to write another one. I started drafting scripts, diddling away on my ukulele, and poking around on Craigslist. I actually sort of like most of my other-genre pieces, but they lack focus. I did not know what my project was really about, so I couldn’t form a project that was cohesive.
Which brings me to my expository essay. I wanted to talk about a lot of things. I wanted to talk about why humor is so vital within our society. I wanted to discuss the relationship between pain and humor, or how dark situations/feelings/experiences can lead to some of the funniest comedy. I also wanted to talk about the increased attention given to comedians through the internet and how this makes their job even more important. In the end, I couldn’t write the essay I wanted to write with the book I chose to read. Ideally, I would have changed books. However, by the end, I was already done with all of my genres. It would not have made sense to backtrack. I dug my own grave. Now I am lying in it.
In any event, I wrote some things that I am happy to present. Tater Tot Thot is an absurdist short play about a man who falls in love with a potato. Senioritis is a short parody of an infomercial meant to call out the symptoms of being a Senior. I wrote up a psuedo-Craiglist missed connection ad because the fact that something like a Missed Connection page exists is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen in life. I wrote a short song about love that I hope is the perfect mixture between funny and creepy. I created these things for you. I hope you enjoy them.
At the end of each piece (except for the expository essay), there is a list of Discussion Questions. BJ Novak wrote Discussion Questions for the end of some of his stories. I absolutely love this idea. I think it exemplifies what I attempt to communicate in my expository essay-- Where do the jokes end and the real stuff begins? By providing actual, specific Discussion Questions, I make the comedic aspects of my works more tangible. I start the hard conversations that should come from good comedy. This is my golden threat. I hope that these Discussion Questions unite the mishmash of products I have laid out for you.
Thanks for reading. I hope you find something to enjoy.
Best,
Claire
